1. When you’re writing in a job ad that your company is:
using state-of-the-art technologies
you’re using such a tired cliché that you should be ashamed you’re stil breathing.
2. When you’re writing in a job ad that the position requires:
Ability to work under pressure and to strict deadlines
you’re not requiring responsibility, efficiency, and dedication, you’re simply acknowledging that the deadlines won’t necessarily be reasonable, and that consistent, unpaid overtime would be needed more often than not. What’s worse, you admit your inability to perform any project management and resource planning — so that the employee should fix your mistakes.
3. When you’re writing in a job ad that your company offers:
Work in a young and dynamic team
you’re just insulting anyone who’s over 30 years of age. Oh, and dynamic: this is about break-dance, right? Or is it about ADHD?
4. When you’re writing in a job ad that your company offers:
Laptop and mobile phone
this is not an offer! I don’t want to need to carry an extra smartphone (which is not the one of my choice anyway), and the laptop is no more an offer than the chains are to a slave! This means I would also need to work from home, which would be unpaid work. Have you notified Karl Marx about your generous offer?
5. When you’re writing in a job ad that your company offers:
Frequent team-buildings and social events
you’re interfering with my private life! Let me tell you this: today’s corporate-style team-building events are invading one’s privacy more than STASI, the KGB or the Securitate did in communist times! My weekends should be my and my family’s weekends, not fake socialization with autistic colleagues who mimic the ability to interact, nor should they include inept exercises — ranging from boy scout-like endeavors to pseudo-psychological sessions that reveal about yourself more than a CIA-conducted interrogatory would.
In brief, stop bullshitting people with pathetic ads. Just tell them they’re going to be your property, once hired.